Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

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(Nicholas Dye/Staff Writer)

Universal dropped the first trailer to the highly anticipated sequel to the highly received sequel to the crappy sequel to the not-so-bad-compared-to-the-third sequel to the highly praised adaptation of Michael Crichton’s Jurassic Park and let me tell you…it was hotter than Ian Malcolm with his shirt open!

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Set several years after the events in Jurassic World, here’s what we know so far. Owen and Claire still have crazy sexual tension. Owen still makes uncomfortable sexual jokes, now about the list of guys that Claire may or may not have nailed. Claire has helped form a dinosaur protection group called the Prevention of Extinction of Dinosaurs Organization or P.E.D.O. for short (actually it’s called the Dinosaur Protection Group so Claire is really involved with DP…seriously). The hamster balls still work!! Blue thinks Owen smells…funny. Ian “Chaos Theory” Malcolm is a goddamned stallion with salt and pepper hair. The Carnotaur (I was a dino-nerd so yeah…I knew what it was) gets a hickey from good ol’ T-Rex. Isla Nublar has filed to legally change it’s name to Dante’s Peak or whatever the volcano was named in that stupid Tommy Lee Jones movie. Claire and (fellow DP enthusiast *snicker*) Justice Smith pull a Thelma and Louise and the Ankylosaur is the unofficial cannonball champion of the world! That pretty much sums up the freaking awesome first trailer for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom due in theaters June 22nd, 2018. On my ONLY serious note, this trailer does make the departure from most modern trailers and does not oversell. I am truly looking forward to this. Check out the trailer below.

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We fight again for our Independence!

(Nicholas Dye/Staff Writer)

This summer will mark 20 years since humankind prevailed over the alien threat and the 4th of July became Global Independence Day. In 2016, that independence will once again be threatened by forces from outside our world and once again Dr. David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum) is racing the clock to protect us. Independence Day: Resurgence is the long awaited follow-up to Roland Emmerich’s mega-summer blockbuster. Bill Pullman and Vivica A. Fox both reprise their roles as President Whitmore and Jasmine respectively yet without Will Smith’s Captain Steven Hiller. Liam Hemsworth joins the fight this time around as planet earth faces down an even bigger alien threat. 20th Century Fox has created a highly immersive website that chronicles the events following the events of 1996. Check it out here at http://www.warof1996.com Will our reverse-engineered alien weaponry be enough to save us again or will planet earth finally fall? Find out June 24, 2016