Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

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(Nicholas Dye/Staff Writer)

Universal dropped the first trailer to the highly anticipated sequel to the highly received sequel to the crappy sequel to the not-so-bad-compared-to-the-third sequel to the highly praised adaptation of Michael Crichton’s Jurassic Park and let me tell you…it was hotter than Ian Malcolm with his shirt open!

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Set several years after the events in Jurassic World, here’s what we know so far. Owen and Claire still have crazy sexual tension. Owen still makes uncomfortable sexual jokes, now about the list of guys that Claire may or may not have nailed. Claire has helped form a dinosaur protection group called the Prevention of Extinction of Dinosaurs Organization or P.E.D.O. for short (actually it’s called the Dinosaur Protection Group so Claire is really involved with DP…seriously). The hamster balls still work!! Blue thinks Owen smells…funny. Ian “Chaos Theory” Malcolm is a goddamned stallion with salt and pepper hair. The Carnotaur (I was a dino-nerd so yeah…I knew what it was) gets a hickey from good ol’ T-Rex. Isla Nublar has filed to legally change it’s name to Dante’s Peak or whatever the volcano was named in that stupid Tommy Lee Jones movie. Claire and (fellow DP enthusiast *snicker*) Justice Smith pull a Thelma and Louise and the Ankylosaur is the unofficial cannonball champion of the world! That pretty much sums up the freaking awesome first trailer for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom due in theaters June 22nd, 2018. On my ONLY serious note, this trailer does make the departure from most modern trailers and does not oversell. I am truly looking forward to this. Check out the trailer below.

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Batman 2018: AKA Shut up Kevin Conroy!

 

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(Nicholas Dye/ Staff Writer)

This past week has given us our first look at not one but TWO new Batman animated films that don’t feature the vocal talents of Kevin Conroy! Somewhere, Two-Face’s nipples just got hard! Drawing from all-new material and set in feudal Japan is Batman Ninja. Now I know that sounds like a shitty ploy to get you to buy your kids new toys of Batman as a ninja and Joker, as a ninja, and Harley Quinn as…wait for it…a ninja, but it isn’t. This is a very beautifully detailed anime of Batman as he faces off against the craziest Joker we may have seen since someone thought Jared Leto would be an awesome Joker. Either way it looks 100% badass. The trailer gives us a glimpse at Robin, Catwoman, Harley Quinn, Two-Face, Poison Ivy, Clayface, and Grodd. Yup…you heard me…mother-effing Gorilla Grodd as, what appears to be, a warlord! An english dubbed version is coming with a voice cast that is yet to be revealed but, I for one, cannot wait to miss most of the movie reading subtitles just to hear Wataru Takagi do the creepiest scream as the Joker when he attacks batman with a katana in hand. After this trailer, I dare you not to say shinseina tawagoto Batoman!

I mean…COME ON!! My only question is, how the hell does Batman have a Batwing and a few other tech gadgets in feudal Japan? Ah who cares!?

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As if that wasn’t enough. DC Animation finally brings us an adaptation of one of my favorite Batman Elseworlds titles in Batman: Gotham by Gaslight. Set in Gotham in 1889, Bruce Wayne returns from a trip to Europe and takes up the mantle of the Batman to stop the legendary Jack the Ripper who has come to Gotham. While the translation to animation doesn’t quite convey the gritty style of the comic (originally drawn masterfully by Hellboy’s Mike Mignola), it does look like it follows the story arc beautifully. Finally there will be a viable reason for those damned steam-punk cosplayers to be at SDCC with their damned Dr. Floobert’s Amazing Gizmotron-Doohickity-Pew-Pew Ray Gun or whatever the hell they call it. Either way, check out the trailer below and, look for Gotham by Gaslight on January 23rd 2018 with Batman Ninja later in 2018.

 

Oh,Hell.. It’s Our 5th Conversation…

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(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

    It’s not a huge secret that Nowhere California loves to shine a spotlight on the world of independent creativity. Also, if there is a project that sticks out to our team, we will keep tabs on the minds behind the projects and George Wassil is one of those minds.

    George is the creator of the comic book series “Oh, Hell” and Nowhere California first crossed paths with him at the 5th annual Long Beach Comic and Horror Con in 2013. Since that first conversation, we have been lucky enough to talk with George on five different occasions.

    Now, before you ask about the fourth conversation, here is our most recent conversation with George from the Stan Lee’s 2017 Los Angeles Comic Con.

mlg9e9pCLICK HERE For Nowhere California Presents Another Conversation With George Wassil

If you want to keep track of the “Oh, Hell” universe CLICK HERE

 

Avengers: Infinity War Trailer

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(Nicholas Dye/Staff Writer)

Did the above picture make you pee your pants? No? Then watch trailer below and grab some towels! See, I wanted to come up with one of my clever titles but I was too blown away by the sheer awesomeness to come up with one. The slow burn that began back in 2008 with Iron Man is finally coming to it’s conclusion in 2018 with Marvel’s Avengers: Infinity War. The Mad Titan Thanos (Josh Brolin) has finally made his move to claim the legendary Infinity Stones so that he may reshape the universe to his liking. Standing in his way is the Avengers, the Guardians of the Galaxy, the Nova Corps, and several other heroes…67 according to co-director Joe Russo.

In the trailer, we get to see, Bruce Banner, who apparently fell through the entire Sanctum Sanctorum, standing with Dr. Strange and Tony Stark, Black Widow with blond hair, Winter Soldier with Black Panther, the Hulkbuster Armor, Captain America as Nomad, humany Vision and Scarlet Witch, Peter Parker all tingly, Thor the pirate, Loki the bitch,…um…The Guardians of the Galaxy, uh…War Machine…Falcon…Chuck Norris…Jimmy Hoffa…D.B. Sweeney (look him up)…okay MAYBE all of those don’t appear but it damn sure feels like it. There’s really not much more I can say that does this trailer justice so I will leave you with this final rant:

MAY 4TH MARVEL!!? Your boss owns Star Wars and you guys HAD to go and pick World Star Wars Day to drop your damn amazing movie!? Took some balls Russo Brothers…big ass balls…Anywho…here you go. Remember…towel.

Let’s Paint Happy Homicide

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(Nicholas Dye/Staff Writer)

With the holidays fast approaching, the recent release of Thor: Ragnarok, the upcoming release of Justice League and Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Deadpool arrived and gave us a release…straight into our pants! Everyone’s favorite Merc’ With A Mouth dropped a teaser trailer a-la-Bob Ross to remind us that none of that other shit matters because Deadpool is coming…to theaters…not…oh never mind.

Twentieth Century Fox posted their official synopsis for the highly anticipated sequel and they describe Deadpool 2 as this:

After surviving a near fatal bovine attack, a disfigured cafeteria chef (Wade Wilson) struggles to fulfill his dream of becoming Mayberry’s hottest bartender while also learning to cope with his lost sense of taste. Searching to regain his spice for life, as well as a flux capacitor, Wade must battle ninjas, the yakuza, and a pack of sexually aggressive canines, as he journeys around the world to discover the importance of family, friendship, and flavor – finding a new taste for adventure and earning the coveted coffee mug title of World’s Best Lover.

No seriously…that IS the official synopsis on Deadpool 2’s IMDB page…

We know this much from the trailer…Deadpool is back, he has a sexy slow motion run through the rain, Negasonic Teenage…Whatever The Fuck The Rest Of Her Name Is is back and still giving the bird, Dopinder doesn’t swallow, Chunk from The Goonies is pulling a Drew Barrymore in Firestarter, some irresponsible prick has given a blind woman a gun, Deadpool does a spot on Jesus impression and rises from the grave, and at very end, Michael Jackson has a new shiny glove…or maybe I need to adjust my Cable. Well, I’m gonna go do some blow, you scroll down to watch the trailer and take the “Don’t Nut in Your Pants Challenge.”

 

Dalton is listed as Security in the credits…these guys are killing me.

Helltrack is gonna be RAD!

(Nicholas Dye/Staff Writer)

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To quote the movie itself: “Hulk Hogan eat your heart out!” Fans of the iconic BMX movie RAD will be mounting up on their Mongoose or Skyway bikes and heading just outside of Dallas Texas to TexPlex Park June 22-24, 2018 for a chance to “walk this sucker.” A festival honoring the film RAD is taking place with a full scale recreation of the legendary track that fans will get the chance to ride as well as a “BMX Boogie”, qualifying races, flatland freestyle, and, of course, an 80’s party.cru-and-lori

Bill Allen, who played the hero Cru Jones, will be in attendance as will top industry riders to show off their BMX prowess. No word yet whether Lori Laughlin or Bart Connor will be making an appearance but keep posted here and we will bring you updates as they happen. Camping will be available as well as info on nearby hotel accommodations, pre-sale ticket info, and general info regarding the track on the TexPlex FaceBook page located here: https://www.facebook.com/helltracktexplex/Rad-Poster-768x977

Time to dig out my checkered Vans slip-ons, polish up my GT Pro Series, throw on my Rad Racing shirt, and start racing my local police officers through the lumber mill so I can show off at TexPlex Park next June! I just hope they have the “KiX” sponsored cereal bowl for me to pull a gnarly air walk out of to take the lead in my final lap at Helltrack!! (Seriously, there was a giant cereal bowl!) Bmea_PlCYAEO5TX

 

The Doom Song Rehearsals Begin Now!

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(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

 Beware the stars, there is an invasion looming and we have Nickelodeon to blame for this. The nostalgia trend continues to pick up steam at the kid’s cable network and they have announced that “Invader Zim” will be returning in a special television movie.

“As a network that prides itself on a 25-year history of creating groundbreaking, hilarious animation for kids, Invader Zim is one of our great loves. It’s been so exciting to see its popularity grow over the last decade through social media, consumer products, and the Zim comic books,” comments Nick’s senior VP, Content Development and Production, Animation, Chris Viscardi (via VARIETY)

The “Invader Zim” movie has jumped into the current mix of Nickelodeon’s blasts from the pasts, as several other classic NICKtoons are preparing for the television movie treatment.

The details of this production are still developing, but here are a few piece of information that is known. The creator of “Invader Zim”, Jhonen Vasquez, will be returning to lead this new era of Zim. Also, the original voice cast will be returning to give the proper touch to this event.

As details develop, we will pass that information on to you through this site and the Nowhere California Podcast, but for now there is no set air date.

 

The Force Is Strong In The Last Jedi Trailer..

(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

 This week has brought great excitement to the force and the epicenter has been the 2017 Star Wars Celebration, located this year in Orlando. During this event, there has been panels and other happenings, but the moment the universe has been waiting for has happened and we have our first look at “The Last Jedi”

There you have the first trailer for Episode VIII and Christmas can’t get here soon enough. In this two minute clip, the viewers can quickly tell that we are not got to get any type of flash forward and we are witness to the beginning of Rey’s training. It is a given that it is Jedi training, but where will we see the reality of this episode’s title come into play. The rumors are out there and I can dive deep into them, but that type of discussion will be saved for the podcast (You can find the Nowhere California Podcast on your favorite podcast search engines) or on the comment section of this site. The reality and identity of the LAST Jedi will come into view in December, but that is just a microcosm of this trailer.

 The trailer, as a whole, can be dissected and screams for repeat viewing, so the viewer can hope to catch the slightest hint towards the plot of this film. You can look at the vast landscapes and wonder if you are looking at a rock pile or a surprise character. You can listen to every wave of audio and pin point the source of the whispers. It is a tough mission, but it is a mission the internet is more than happy to accept.

 As the current slate of movie releases have shown, it is an awesome time to be a movie fan and the trailers we have received continue to show that fact to be true. Also, DC and MARVEL can have their dick measuring contests when they release trailers, but the current series of Star Wars has shown their still a force to be reckoned with in the box office. December can’t get here quick enough.

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Now for a P.S. to my thoughts on the trailer. This poster is obscene in its awesomeness!

A New Way To Unlock Your Powers..

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(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

It’s time for our final conversation from Nowhere California’s adventures at the 2017 Long Beach Comic Expo and this final conversation will help you explore your untapped powers, but not in the self-help/Tony Robbins way and more in the way of MARVEL/DC. In this installment, the guys from Nowhere talk with Kyle Marlett.

Kyle is the creative mind behind the website MutantPowers.net, this is a site that will help the most normal comic book fan unlock some truly unique gifts and these “gifts” come in the form of specially created magic tricks/special effect.

Kyle’s life and love for nerd culture has been an interesting journey, so you know that this was a conversation that needed to take place and it was a pleasure of the Nowhere California team to talk with this creative mind. If you want to see what Kyle might have in store for you, go to MUTANTPOWERS.NET and find out.

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CLICK HERE For Nowhere California Presents Our Conversation With Kyle Marlett

Send In The Creepy F*cking Clowns For The New “IT” Trailer..

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(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

The track record for clowns in modern society has been a mixed bag of emotions, there is the fun loving and cholesterol jacked Ronald McDonald from everyone’s food coma dreams. Also, in recent years, we have a small group of half-wits across the country that try to freak out little kids. Now, the clown that would make the half-wits run in fear and make them need a change of pants has returned. The trailer for the upcoming big screen remake of “Stephen King’s IT” has arrived.

Stephen King’s adaptations have a pretty strong history, love or hate them the movies have been memorable and “IT” looks like it will be in the same boat with the original TV movie. The Losers’ Club seem to have been collected with the right amount of sympathy and care, this will be a group that you will want to follow.

Pennywise is a whole different story and I mean that in the most positive way, as with any remake, there is a fear of losing a vital part of the original’s heart. In the original 1990 TV movie, Tim Curry brought this literary clown to life and gave Pennywise a level of creepiness that the talented Curry can only reach. In this new vision of a classic, Bill Skarsgård avoids the traps of copying the performance and seems to crank the creepy knob past 11.

IT Floats Into Theaters September 8th

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