Thank you for being a friend…of Deadpool!

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(Nicholas Dye/Staff Writer)

On this glorious eve of the greatest smart-ass superhero….wait…anti-hero…wait…X character…OH FUCK IT! Before Deadpool feels us all up in a darkend theater tomorrow, we get our most honest review from none other than the foulest (and hottest if you know me!) mouth in Hollywood…Betty fucking White!!! So without further ado, I will shut the hell up and let her share her thoughts on Deadpool as well as Ryan Reynolds’ smoking’ hot ass!

The Desecration of the Man of Steel in Hollywood Part 1

(Nicholas Dye/Staff Writer)

I will begin this piece by admitting that I am an ardent and die-hard Superman fan. I am not a fan of what he can do but what he is and what he stands for. I believe that his greatest power radiates not from our yellow sun but from the love and morals that two mere mortals bestowed on him. Superman is super not because of the ability to protect and to do the amazing things he does. Superman is super because of the way he inspires, the way he makes us believe that ANYONE can be super if they make the choice to do so. In this amazing technological world that we live in, why can no one in Hollywood seem to get his character right and why do they almost feel threatened by a hero of his caliber?

From my earliest memories and from pictures of me as a baby, I have been surrounded by Superman. Much like Martha Kent, my mother sewed an ‘S’ onto a red towel and attached it to my long john Superman Underoos and created my costume. I was eight years old an barely a year had passed since my father died. We struggled but we found light in the smallest of places. We lived on a friend’s property in a 65 foot mobile home that we had just upgraded from the 35 footer we were living in. I remember the day she pinned that towel to my shirt and I stepped off the back steps for the first time. The way the sun felt that morning, the way the smell of the desert meeting the mountains filled my nose. The sound of John Williams’ main theme from Superman echoed in the clearing of trees as I belted it out while I ran around with my arms outstretched. Superman was the light I needed to get past losing my hero. In that sense, I had been saved by the Man of Steel.

Fast forward to 2005. I sat with barely contained enthusiasm, in a film that I cannot recall, waiting for the teaser trailer for the upcoming Superman Returns. In that darkened theater, my skin came alive as I heard Marlon Brando’s Jor-El talking over John Willams’ “The Planet Krypton” theme. A young Clark leaps into the sky over the fields of Smallville, Kansas, a glimpse of The Daily Planet, people looking to the sky, Superman emerges from the clouds and basks in the sun, and Jor-El saying; “For this reason alone, their capacity for good, I have sent them you. My only son.” Superman opens his eyes and speeds back to earth. I am not ashamed to admit that tears filled my eyes as thunderous applause and cheers from the audience filled the blackness.

Fast forward again to June of 2006. The credits were rolling on Superman Returns and I sat in absolute disappointment at what Warner Bros. had allowed to happen to MY hero. I was outraged! So let me get this straight…Superman had become a stalker, a jealous ex-boyfriend, and a secret father!? That ridiculous costume with the leather cape and tiny ‘S’ and the fact that we were getting Lex Luthor…AGAIN was enough to drive me around the bend! Hell, the biggest hero in that entire film was James Marsden’s ‘Richard White’ who, even with seeing his love (Lois Lane) still smitten with Superman, rushed off in his plane to help him at her behest. EVERYTHING felt wrong! Superman forgot how to save a falling plane without tearing it apart and the scene where he rushes into the street and pulls his shirt open to reveal the iconic shield was completely muted by the bastardization of the original score by John Ottman. Smallville was able to get this right so I cannot fathom why the film could not. Brandon Routh was made to regurgitate lines which Christopher Reeve had used to bring humanity to Superman and, much like the movie, failed miserably at connecting with the audience.

To paraphrase Alex Ross and Mark Waid’s “Kingdom Come”, the Super has become more important than the man in Hollywood. In Superman ’78, we see the guiding hand of Jonathan and Martha Kent. When Clark shows off by beating Brad’s convertible home on foot, Jonathan ribs him for showing off and letting Brad get his goat. Clark asks if it’s showing off to use your natural talents to which Jonathan tells him that it is not but he knows that he was put here for more than scoring touchdowns. Now granted, we don’t get to see the Kents mold Kal-El into Superman by Jonathan teaching him ways to change his voice and demeanor and we don’t get Martha stitching his costume from the blankets he arrived in. What we do get, which Hollywood seems almost afraid to do, is two parents who love him and guide him morally on his journey to find his greater purpose.

If I am to be fair, Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel came the closest. Jonathan and Clark have a wonderful exchange after Clark is bullied. Martha and Clark have a beautiful moment when Clark’s senses are overwhelmed and she lovingly helps him to focus. Snyder crafts these things and, in the quest to keep more realism, he almost chastises Clark for saving the school bus after it plunged into the river. Jonathan sacrifices himself rather than let Clark do what he can do. While I would say this has some nobility to it, as we learn later in the film, it seems a good chunk of Smallville’s population know who Clark is anyways which would negate Jonathan’s fear completely. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention my favorite scene in the film which happens to be Clark’s finest moment. When faced with the decision to turn himself over to Zod, Clark goes to a higher power for answers. He tells the clergyman at the local church that he is the man that is being sought and he doesn’t know what to do. The clergyman tells him that sometimes it just takes faith.

Again, in Alex Ross’ Justice comic, there is an exchange of respect between Superman and Batman outside of the Fortress of Solitude. Superman acknowledges why Batman is so successful because Batman makes criminals afraid of the dark. Batman says that he know understands why Superman chose to do press appearances and interviews because he casts a light so bright that there are no shadows for the villains to hide in. Why then, do we have a Man of Steel that was shot so overtly darkened. Why does Superman need to be grittier? He is a beacon of light and a symbol of hope! It’s almost as if film executives are afraid to give us a moralistic Superman or one that might seem preachy. I swear I have seen that work on film somewhere before though and it seemed to work pretty damn well. What movie was that again…? Oh yeah!! EVERY movie that has featured Captain America!

Marvel has done so well with giving us a hero that holds his morals above all else. Hell, it was a running gag in Avenger 2: Age of Ultron between Stark and Cap when Stark uses some choice words and Cap says “Language!” Why is Warner so afraid of that guy!? He’s referred to in the comics as “The Big Blue Boy Scout”,  so why not let him be that!? In Superman ’78, in his first outing as Superman, saves Lois Lane from death and catches a falling helicopter with his free hand. Upon returning them to the top of The Daily Planet, he quickly says “Gentlemen. This man needs a doctor!” and then says to Lois, “I hope this hasn’t put you off flight miss. Statistically speaking, it’s still the safest way to travel.” In that sequence he delivers hope, takes control of a chaotic situation and is reassuring without being preachy or condescending.  This sequence is followed by him stopping a burglary and a heist, saving Air Force 1, and rescuing a cat from a tree! Where the hell was that stuff in these new films!?

I believe Henry Cavill is the best man to don the ‘S’ since Christopher Reeve and I hope that Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice will restore my faith but from what I have seen from trailers, that seems bleak. As this is titled “Part 1”, I will be tackling my issues with the need to pit Superman and Batman against each other, the choice to make his costume more Kryptonian, as well as get more into this fear of having a hero that is too moralistic for viewers. I will also, in the near future, be writing a piece on the mistreatment of Batman in Hollywood as well. I will save those both until after we get the theatrical release of Batman v. Superman. Thanks for letting this fanboy rant for a while and feel free to hit me with comments or questions at Nowhere_California@yahoo.com.

 

 

 

 

 

Marvel is going to get Strange

(Nicholas Dye/Staff Writer)

Entertainment Weekly gives us our first look at Benedict Cumberbatch as Dr. Stephen Strange and he looks…wait for it…magical!! Cumberbatch is the newest face to join the Marvel family but is no STRANGEr (Okay I’ll stop!) to the big screen. Gaining huge fame overseas as the infallible Sherlock Holmes on BBC’s “Sherlock”, Cumberbatch gained popularity as Kahn in 2013’s “Star Trek: Into Darkness”. With razor sharp diction and a superbly confident demeanor, Cumberbatch was an easy choice to become the “Sorcerer Supereme.” Benedict Cumberbatch will be joined by Rachel McAdams (Sherlock Holmes), Tilda Swinton (Constantine) as The Ancient One and Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 Year a Slave) as Baron Mordo. You can catch Doctor Strange in theaters November 4, 2016 or you can pick up the upcoming copy of Entertainment Weekly for a more detailed read.

DEADPOOL: He Is The Superhero Movie That We Need And Want!

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(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

It has been a magical 12 days and as the yearly War on Christmas truce goes into effect, Deadpool has delivered a package that he want to show the world. Also, the Merc with the Mouth has a new trailer for the movie goers..

First, here is the clean “Green Band” trailer..

Now, it is time to take Deadpool’s advice and enjoy the majesty that is the “Red Band” trailer..

If that isn’t an uncanny and magnificent finale for the 12 days of Deadpool, then I don’t know what could be. This trailer shows the hardcore edge and spirit of the comics will not be lost in the translation to the big screen. This movie will be the swift kick to superhero genre’s balls and the aftermath will be felt for a long time.

I don’t know your plans for February 12, 2016, but my plans are set and I’ll be seeing this movie multiple times.

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DEADPOOL: It’s Trailer Eve, Make Sure You Leave Some Chimichangas Out..

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(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

‘Twas the night before the trailer and all through the internet, not a creature was stirring but a Merc with a mouth. The time has finally arrived and we are at the eve of the new Deadpool trailer.

Today is the 11th day of the marvelous 12 days of Deadpool and our day started with a ghost of Deadpool past..

Wolverine, Deadpool’s fellow WEAPON X survivor, decided to commandeer the festivities and treat us to this special image. As everyone remembers, the last time we saw these two together was in the conclusion of the X-Men Origins: Wolverine and the Merc with the Mouth didn’t exactly have a mouth. It’s nice to see this twosome together under better terms.

Now for the main attraction of the 11th day of the 12 days of Deadpool and an appetizer for tomorrow’s new Deadpool trailer..

The excitement is reaching its peak, we received a new TV spot and some truth behind the Easter egg we discovered from Day 7 (Hopefully, this isn’t the last time we’ll see Wolverine), but the main event is only a few hours away.

Ignore your loved ones and stay locked in, as we will hit the final day of the 12 days of Deadpool. Christmas Day will bring onto the world a brand spanking new Deadpool trailer!!

xx

 

DEADPOOL: Die Hard Is His Favorite, Feel Good Christmas Movie..

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(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

It’s the night before Trailer’s Eve and there is so much to discuss, from the 10th entry in the matronly 12 days of Deadpool to 2 new television spots and one spot featuring brand new footage from this soon to be classic movie.

As with the past 9 days, we begin with the newest entry of the 12 days of Deadpool and today’s installment is another Merc with the Mouth take on a holiday classic, the relaxing burning yule log.

In the most traditional hands, it’s as simple as an actual burning fire in a fireplace and in other hands, it’s a video loop from a discount DVD. This classic has seen many forms, but here is the Deadpool’s “Pool Log”..

Now, as you relax with you “Pool Log”, here is the newest television spot and you will quick see a few new moments from the movie…

This might have been a short clip, but you get a colossal amount. We get a glimpse at the story and what bring Wade Wilson to the superhero party.

The next clip is quick, but very important. This is a special spot for ESPN’s NBA coverage on Christmas Day, but we learn that we will be getting a special look at Deadpool. We can only imagine that this will be the debut of the new “clean” trailer. Also, Deadpool isn’t alone in this clip and we get a special visit from Weasel.

There you have it, this was a very busy 10th day for this Deadpool event. We are in the final 2 days and tomorrow will bring the surprises of “Trailer Eve”. Since “Trailer Eve” is all we know, watch out and be ready for anything!

xx

DEADPOOL: He Gives Krampus Nightmares..

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(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

The light is starting to come into view and we are getting close to the grand finale of the magnanimous 12 days of Deadpool. Today is day 9 and Deadpool has teamed up with the giant at IMAX to unleash this piece of art onto the world…

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If you can’t tell, this is the exclusive IMAX poster for DEADPOOL. IMAX has released some impressive posters in the past and that tradition continues with this masterpiece.

Also, speaking of masterpieces, IMAX released a special teaser to remind everyone that size is very important..

The excitement is reaching a fever pitch, as we are in the final 3 days of this journey and we still have some great gifts to receive. Tomorrow, the man behind the Merc with the Mouth will be delivering our next gift.

xx

DEADPOOL: A Yuletide Easter Egg?

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(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

Are you the black sheep of the family? If you are, this time of year might bring upon the annoying family newsletter. These newsletters are your family’s way to catch you up on their important events of the year or, in most cases, show off how their lives are better than yours.

In today’s installment of the massive 12 Days of Deadpool, everyone’s favorite holiday avenger takes his shot at the tortured holiday tradition…

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If you signed your life away at deadpoolcore.com, you received the full sized holiday newsletter in its total glory. Also, you received a special spring time treat in the form of a possible Easter egg. I will not give things away at this time, but you might want to slowly turn to Niagra Falls to find this one.

If you are staring at your screen confused, I will reveal what I found in 2 Hours. Since, I want to give everyone time to find this.

This has been an exciting Day 7 for the 12 Days of Deadpool. As always, stay locked in to your computer for tomorrow’s installment that will be delivered by MASHABLE.com

xx

DEADPOOL: He Has Book Club With The Grinch On Thursdays..

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(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

No one ever remembers the 6th day of the 12 days of Christmas, but I would bet good money and some less then vital body parts that you will remember what Deadpool has in store on this 6th day of the majestic 12 Days of Deadpool.

On this day, Deadpool and the great team at Joblo.com have bestowed upon us an actual page from the DEADPOOL movie script. This page comes from the script of the Merc with the Mouth and includes his personal notes…

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As you can see from the notes, Deadpool loves to dive deep into the important matters of a production and that closes your 6th day of the 12 Days of Deadpool.

I hope I’m not the only one, but these gifts have been insanely awesome and have given the fans a look at what will be in store with the comic book adaptation. An adaptation that looks to be following the source material very closely.

We are at the half way point, so make sure to stay close to your computers and watch out for the next package to be dropped with care from the talented people at DEADPOOLCORE.com

xx

DEADPOOL: His Yule Log Burns All Year Long..

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(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

In the past few years, a growing tradition has taken a yuletide grasp on everyone’s holiday chestnuts and that tradition is the “Ugly Christmas Sweater”. These sweaters have taken a hold on every aspect of pop culture and everyone’s favorite x-men reject has jumped into this itchy pool, with some help from the great people from FANDANGO.com on this 5th day of the mighty 12 Days of Deadpool.

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In the young, but hallowed halls of “Ugly Christmas Sweaters” this sweater ranks towards the top of the heap and Deadpool wears this creation with an understated passion towards wool.

As always, great job to the Deadpool team and their partners for today’s 12 Days of Deadpool installment. Also, stay close to your computers and check out tomorrow’s installment, with Deadpool’s partners for the day coming from the amazing Joblo.com

xx