Movie Review: CONJOINED

10931346_675268315935068_1580860387000763900_n

(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

The genre of horror is like walking down a dark alley, there is excitement and a possibility of your outlook on life being changed. When you take that same scenario and bring it into the world of independent filmmaking, you can look at that dark alley and slap on a blindfold, since it’s a world where the normal rules are thrown out the window.

CONJOINED is a horror comedy that follows the hopeless romantic Stanley, who is played by Tom Long, as he prepares for his long term and long distance girlfriend Alina, who is played by Michelle Ellen Jones, move into his place. As the special day arrives, Alina reveals a small secret and that secret is her sister Alisa, who is played by Keefer Barlow, who happens to be literally attached to her. This news is a shock to Stanley, but he wants to make it work and his attempt is honorable, until one more secret is reveal is the bloodiest of fashion. Alisa has a psychotic side that will leave a body count.

conjoined1

The work of the cast stands out in this cross between an episode of Tales From The Crypt and Three’s Company with a few low doses of acid, but the minds behind the camera deserve the praise of the suppliers of the cinematic hallucinogens.

Joe Grisaffi was the director of Conjoined and gave this film a visual look that fit perfectly into the twisted script that was written by Chuck and Tim Norfolk. Grisaffi’s direction made this movie into a great watch, when a concept like this could have fallen off the rails fast.

As CONJOINED is not your normal movie, a review for this movie should be treated the same way. This movie should be seen with a group and enjoyed. Also, if you’re a fan of the worlds of TROMA and other strange cinema landscapes, you will be right at home with this blood soaked side show of a love story. In the end, I will give CONJOINED a 7 out of 10.

uf3gbsu3fc5341nke9vg5rq7o2v

CLICK HERE FOR THE OFFICIAL CONJOINED WEBSITE

Nowhere California Crosses Paths With Captain Spaulding..

image_zps88crxbqx

(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

The following is the finale of Nowhere California’s coverage of the 2016 Los Angeles Days of the Dead convention and in this installment the guys have fallen prey to some top secret clown business, as Josh and Doug talk with horror icon Sid Haig.

Sid is a legend of the silver screen, with a list of over 100 roles to his name and an impact that can be felt in many genres of the film industry. In recent years, Sid has become a mainstay in the convention world and a familiar face to the Days of the Dead loyal.

During Nowhere California’s adventures at Days of the Dead, the guys from Nowhere have made it a point to bump into this legend and we have been lucky enough to sit down twice with the man behind the clown make up..

CLICK HERE  For Nowhere California Presents Our Conversation With Sid Haig From The 2013 Days Of The Dead Convention (11:26)

image_zpsdjccvbrw
(Doug Porter, Joshua Gilmore, Sid Haig. April 2016 Los Angeles Days of the Dead)

CLICK HERE For Nowhere California Presents Another Conversation With Sid Haig From The 2016 Days of the Dead Convention (6:18)

As with all of our conversations, everybody on the Nowhere California team would like to extend our thanks to Sid Haig. It was an absolute pleasure talking with this icon.

For Everything Sid Haig CLICK HERE For The Official Sid Haig Website

Our Conversation With Brandon Stacy..

brandon-stacy3a-777x422

(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

Nowhere California continues our track record of great conversations with great creative and talented minds, as I had the opportunity to talk with Brandon Stacy.

Brandon Stacy has built a stellar acting career through his roles in some high profiled productions, such as “The Big Short” and the recent remake of the iconic “Roots”. Also, Stacy has continued working in the world of independent productions and his conversation with Josh delves into his journey through Hollywood.

CLICK HERE For Nowhere California Presents Our Conversation With Brandon Stacy (22:30)

During the conversation, Brandon discussed his work on the upcoming series “Blade of Honor and their current kickstarter campaign. Here is the trailer for “Blade of Honor”..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnBLEwZ9mAw

If you liked what you watched and want to support the next evolution in the world of Sciene Fiction, Donate to the “Blade of Honor” Kickstarter by CLICKING HERE

NowhereCalifornia.com Reaches Its First Year..

365_zps32stbaw6

(Joshua Gilmore- Staff Writer)

It started one year ago today, this site was launched and took the concept of Nowhere California to a whole new level.

Nowhere California started in 2011 and it was just another conversation between two friends, but these conversation started taking place in front of a microphone and unleashed on the internet. It was as simple as that, but as Nowhere California evolved, the team grew and new accomplishments were reach.

The episodes started to grow and the team ventured out of the Nowhere city limits, as they dove into the world of conventions and conducting interviews. It was with each accomplishment, the Nowhere California family stuck to their ideals of what they wanted to produce and not to become just another podcast.

It was that mindset that grew into this website and, as we mark our first year on the net, we want to simply say THANK YOU.

Thank you for following the journey of Nowhere California.

Thank you for listening to the original podcast and all of the other podcast that have sprung from this little idea.

Thank you for checking out this site

And thank you for continuing this adventure with us.

Nowhere California Dives Into Some Independent Ink..

image_zpskfowdt74

(Joshua Gilmore- Staff Writer)

This might sound like a broken record, but the team of Nowhere California loves the world of independent creativity. It’s a world that birthed Nowhere California and we love to shine a spotlight into the area of art.

It began with “Queen Gorya”, then we took a trip to hell with “Oh, Hell”, and the guys recently received an education with “Getting Schooled..” At the recent Los Angeles Days of the Dead convention, Nowhere California returned to the printed page and talked with the mind behind Wannabe Press, Russell Nohelty.

In this conversation, Russell opens up about what got him to start Wannabe Press and mission for the creative works that might get lost in the mainstream publication world.

aaeaaqaaaaaaaau4aaaajdg5nmqwnjlhlwrhmdetndc2nc04mta2ltm3ogmxmwy5oduwnq

CLICK HERE For Nowhere California Presents Our Conversation With Russell Nohelty.. (9:09)

This was a great pleasure to talk with Russell Nohelty and Nowhere California would like to send our thanks to Russell for this opportunity.

If you want to check out all of the great work that Wannabe Press is unleashing, CLICK HERE for the official Wannabe Press website.

NOWHERE Invades The Hollywood Comedy Shorts Film Festival..

csff_zpsgpf7kdwy

(Joshua Gilmore- Staff Writer)

This past April and hot off the heels of the Days of the Dead convention, the guys from Nowhere were invited to cover their first film festival and the Nowhere California team charted new ground to cover the 1st Annual Hollywood Comedy Shorts Festival.

This event took place the 15th and 16th of April at the world famous TCL Chinese Theatre, gathering the world of short form comedy under one roof. During the opening night celebration, Nowhere California was represented on the red carpet and we took the opportunity to talk with a few of the festivals participants..

pauloquiros302
CLICK HERE For Nowhere California Presents Our Conversation With The Team Of DubStep Dodgeball (19:35)

tamp_zpsrpggvaex

CLICK HERE For Nowhere California Presents Our Conversation With The Team Of TAMPOON (10:25)

honeypot_zpsdc0lvetu

CLICK HERE For Nowhere California Presents Our Conversation With The Team Of Honey Pot (14:29)

The entire Nowhere California team would like to thank everyone that talked with us and to the event organizers. This was a great experience and we hope that we will have the chance to cover next year’s festival.

csff1_zps3o6lhjoc

For more information on all of the films, winners, and information on next year’s festival. Go to the Hollywood Comedy Shorts Film Festival Official Website by CLICKING HERE

Are We Ready For A Jedi Tomb Raider?

lara-croft-tomb-raider

(Joshua Gilmore- Staff Writer)

Could a new generation Jedi bring the life back to forgotten video game movie franchise? As quickly as the Millennium Falcon can make the kessel run, the casting rumor of Daisy Ridley stepping into the boots of Lara Croft has spread through all the Hollywood outlets.

This past week, DEADLINE reported that Warner Bro’s and MGM have possible put Daisy into casting consideration for the upcoming Tomb Raider reboot. Now, with everything in Hollywood, casting and production rumors can change in the blink of an eye. Now, with Daisy’s commitments to the Star Wars franchise, could her name be taken out of the mix as quickly as it was brought in or could this be a post Star Wars project for Rey?

daisy-ridley-interpreta-rey-nella-nuova-trilogia_627103

Tell Us Your Thoughts? Who Do You See Playing Lara Croft?

Welcome To Episode VIII..

56770564cfd07

(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

The end will be the beginning, well at least when it comes to the start of production on Star Wars Episode VIII.

In this teaser released by Lucas Films, production has started on the next installment of the Star Wars franchise and it looks like some questions will be answered very quickly.

As of this posting, very little is known about this installment and the world still waits for the complete title to be released. The information that is known is the cast that will be returning and not returning, if that statement is confusing, then do yourself a favor and get to the movie theater NOW!

Also, there will be some new faces added to this edition of the saga and there are some Hollywood elite that are entering this galaxy. Kelly Marie Tran (About A Boy), Benicio Del Toro (Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas), and Laura Dern (Jurassic Park) will make their marks in the Star War’s Saga, when Episode VIII blasts into theaters December 15,2017

"Worlds, Galaxies, And Universes: Live Action At The Walt Disney Studios" Presentation At Disney's D23 EXPO 2015

Captain Phasma will return for Episode VIII

(Nicholas Dye/Staff Writer)

phasmaWhat this writer believes was the ONLY disappointing aspect of the mega-smash hit that was The Force Awakens, was the lack of Captain Phasma. Shining metallic Stormtrooper armor, that black and red cape menacingly slung over her left shoulder with an even more menacing blaster rifle in her right hand, not to mention the fact that SHE is the first female villain in Star Wars film history, and she was here and gone in the blink of an eye. Well apparently not.Gwendoline-Christie-Red-Lips-Images

At the recent SAG awards, Gwendoline Christie was asked about her role in Star Wars Episode VIII. “I will be in the next Star Wars movie. I think that’s an exclusive, actually.” Christie readily divulged. She also spoke on her enthusiasm at playing the part and how much she wanted that role. In Game of Thrones, as Brienne of Tarth, Christie has been a force to be reckoned with so it is no surprise that her confident stature and fierce attitude were a perfect fit for the commander of the New Order forces. That sentiment was obviously echoed by J.J. Abrams who immediately cast Christie in a role that was originally written for a man. We can expect more from the impressive (and gorgeous) Gwendoline Christie when she hits the screen as Captain Phasma in Star Wars: Episode VIII on December 15, 2017.

The Desecration of the Man of Steel in Hollywood Part 1

(Nicholas Dye/Staff Writer)

I will begin this piece by admitting that I am an ardent and die-hard Superman fan. I am not a fan of what he can do but what he is and what he stands for. I believe that his greatest power radiates not from our yellow sun but from the love and morals that two mere mortals bestowed on him. Superman is super not because of the ability to protect and to do the amazing things he does. Superman is super because of the way he inspires, the way he makes us believe that ANYONE can be super if they make the choice to do so. In this amazing technological world that we live in, why can no one in Hollywood seem to get his character right and why do they almost feel threatened by a hero of his caliber?

From my earliest memories and from pictures of me as a baby, I have been surrounded by Superman. Much like Martha Kent, my mother sewed an ‘S’ onto a red towel and attached it to my long john Superman Underoos and created my costume. I was eight years old an barely a year had passed since my father died. We struggled but we found light in the smallest of places. We lived on a friend’s property in a 65 foot mobile home that we had just upgraded from the 35 footer we were living in. I remember the day she pinned that towel to my shirt and I stepped off the back steps for the first time. The way the sun felt that morning, the way the smell of the desert meeting the mountains filled my nose. The sound of John Williams’ main theme from Superman echoed in the clearing of trees as I belted it out while I ran around with my arms outstretched. Superman was the light I needed to get past losing my hero. In that sense, I had been saved by the Man of Steel.

Fast forward to 2005. I sat with barely contained enthusiasm, in a film that I cannot recall, waiting for the teaser trailer for the upcoming Superman Returns. In that darkened theater, my skin came alive as I heard Marlon Brando’s Jor-El talking over John Willams’ “The Planet Krypton” theme. A young Clark leaps into the sky over the fields of Smallville, Kansas, a glimpse of The Daily Planet, people looking to the sky, Superman emerges from the clouds and basks in the sun, and Jor-El saying; “For this reason alone, their capacity for good, I have sent them you. My only son.” Superman opens his eyes and speeds back to earth. I am not ashamed to admit that tears filled my eyes as thunderous applause and cheers from the audience filled the blackness.

Fast forward again to June of 2006. The credits were rolling on Superman Returns and I sat in absolute disappointment at what Warner Bros. had allowed to happen to MY hero. I was outraged! So let me get this straight…Superman had become a stalker, a jealous ex-boyfriend, and a secret father!? That ridiculous costume with the leather cape and tiny ‘S’ and the fact that we were getting Lex Luthor…AGAIN was enough to drive me around the bend! Hell, the biggest hero in that entire film was James Marsden’s ‘Richard White’ who, even with seeing his love (Lois Lane) still smitten with Superman, rushed off in his plane to help him at her behest. EVERYTHING felt wrong! Superman forgot how to save a falling plane without tearing it apart and the scene where he rushes into the street and pulls his shirt open to reveal the iconic shield was completely muted by the bastardization of the original score by John Ottman. Smallville was able to get this right so I cannot fathom why the film could not. Brandon Routh was made to regurgitate lines which Christopher Reeve had used to bring humanity to Superman and, much like the movie, failed miserably at connecting with the audience.

To paraphrase Alex Ross and Mark Waid’s “Kingdom Come”, the Super has become more important than the man in Hollywood. In Superman ’78, we see the guiding hand of Jonathan and Martha Kent. When Clark shows off by beating Brad’s convertible home on foot, Jonathan ribs him for showing off and letting Brad get his goat. Clark asks if it’s showing off to use your natural talents to which Jonathan tells him that it is not but he knows that he was put here for more than scoring touchdowns. Now granted, we don’t get to see the Kents mold Kal-El into Superman by Jonathan teaching him ways to change his voice and demeanor and we don’t get Martha stitching his costume from the blankets he arrived in. What we do get, which Hollywood seems almost afraid to do, is two parents who love him and guide him morally on his journey to find his greater purpose.

If I am to be fair, Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel came the closest. Jonathan and Clark have a wonderful exchange after Clark is bullied. Martha and Clark have a beautiful moment when Clark’s senses are overwhelmed and she lovingly helps him to focus. Snyder crafts these things and, in the quest to keep more realism, he almost chastises Clark for saving the school bus after it plunged into the river. Jonathan sacrifices himself rather than let Clark do what he can do. While I would say this has some nobility to it, as we learn later in the film, it seems a good chunk of Smallville’s population know who Clark is anyways which would negate Jonathan’s fear completely. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention my favorite scene in the film which happens to be Clark’s finest moment. When faced with the decision to turn himself over to Zod, Clark goes to a higher power for answers. He tells the clergyman at the local church that he is the man that is being sought and he doesn’t know what to do. The clergyman tells him that sometimes it just takes faith.

Again, in Alex Ross’ Justice comic, there is an exchange of respect between Superman and Batman outside of the Fortress of Solitude. Superman acknowledges why Batman is so successful because Batman makes criminals afraid of the dark. Batman says that he know understands why Superman chose to do press appearances and interviews because he casts a light so bright that there are no shadows for the villains to hide in. Why then, do we have a Man of Steel that was shot so overtly darkened. Why does Superman need to be grittier? He is a beacon of light and a symbol of hope! It’s almost as if film executives are afraid to give us a moralistic Superman or one that might seem preachy. I swear I have seen that work on film somewhere before though and it seemed to work pretty damn well. What movie was that again…? Oh yeah!! EVERY movie that has featured Captain America!

Marvel has done so well with giving us a hero that holds his morals above all else. Hell, it was a running gag in Avenger 2: Age of Ultron between Stark and Cap when Stark uses some choice words and Cap says “Language!” Why is Warner so afraid of that guy!? He’s referred to in the comics as “The Big Blue Boy Scout”,  so why not let him be that!? In Superman ’78, in his first outing as Superman, saves Lois Lane from death and catches a falling helicopter with his free hand. Upon returning them to the top of The Daily Planet, he quickly says “Gentlemen. This man needs a doctor!” and then says to Lois, “I hope this hasn’t put you off flight miss. Statistically speaking, it’s still the safest way to travel.” In that sequence he delivers hope, takes control of a chaotic situation and is reassuring without being preachy or condescending.  This sequence is followed by him stopping a burglary and a heist, saving Air Force 1, and rescuing a cat from a tree! Where the hell was that stuff in these new films!?

I believe Henry Cavill is the best man to don the ‘S’ since Christopher Reeve and I hope that Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice will restore my faith but from what I have seen from trailers, that seems bleak. As this is titled “Part 1”, I will be tackling my issues with the need to pit Superman and Batman against each other, the choice to make his costume more Kryptonian, as well as get more into this fear of having a hero that is too moralistic for viewers. I will also, in the near future, be writing a piece on the mistreatment of Batman in Hollywood as well. I will save those both until after we get the theatrical release of Batman v. Superman. Thanks for letting this fanboy rant for a while and feel free to hit me with comments or questions at Nowhere_California@yahoo.com.