Movie Review: CONJOINED

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(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

The genre of horror is like walking down a dark alley, there is excitement and a possibility of your outlook on life being changed. When you take that same scenario and bring it into the world of independent filmmaking, you can look at that dark alley and slap on a blindfold, since it’s a world where the normal rules are thrown out the window.

CONJOINED is a horror comedy that follows the hopeless romantic Stanley, who is played by Tom Long, as he prepares for his long term and long distance girlfriend Alina, who is played by Michelle Ellen Jones, move into his place. As the special day arrives, Alina reveals a small secret and that secret is her sister Alisa, who is played by Keefer Barlow, who happens to be literally attached to her. This news is a shock to Stanley, but he wants to make it work and his attempt is honorable, until one more secret is reveal is the bloodiest of fashion. Alisa has a psychotic side that will leave a body count.

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The work of the cast stands out in this cross between an episode of Tales From The Crypt and Three’s Company with a few low doses of acid, but the minds behind the camera deserve the praise of the suppliers of the cinematic hallucinogens.

Joe Grisaffi was the director of Conjoined and gave this film a visual look that fit perfectly into the twisted script that was written by Chuck and Tim Norfolk. Grisaffi’s direction made this movie into a great watch, when a concept like this could have fallen off the rails fast.

As CONJOINED is not your normal movie, a review for this movie should be treated the same way. This movie should be seen with a group and enjoyed. Also, if you’re a fan of the worlds of TROMA and other strange cinema landscapes, you will be right at home with this blood soaked side show of a love story. In the end, I will give CONJOINED a 7 out of 10.

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CLICK HERE FOR THE OFFICIAL CONJOINED WEBSITE

Rob Zombie Returns With More Clown Business..

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(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

We’ve seen the images and information has been scarce, but intriguing. The time has finally arrived and the horror world has its first taste of the next movie from the brilliantly twisted mind of Rob Zombie. There will be blood and grease paint, because here is the trailer for “31”

This film follows a group of carnival workers, as they are kidnapped by a group of sadistic clowns and forced into a psychotic game of survival known as “31”. The cast includes some Zombie regulars and some new faces to Rob’s movie world; such as Malcolm McDowell, Sheri Moon Zombie, Jeff Daniel Phillips, and Richard Brake. These are only a few names to this stellar cast and the world needs to be ready for intensity of Richard Brake’s “Doom-Head”, as Rob has dubbed Brake’s character as the next great horror villain.

I’ve been a fan of Rob Zombie’s music and movies for years, he is the only creative mind that can unleash this type of world without destroying the film’s proper story telling path. In the horror genre, there is a fine line between snuff and fluff, Rob has always balanced that line with a delicate precision.

Saban Films and Lionsgate will be working on the distribution of this film. All the games will begin September 16th on VOD and in selected theaters on October 21st.

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For More Information On “31” CLICK HERE

Nowhere California Crosses Paths With Captain Spaulding..

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(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

The following is the finale of Nowhere California’s coverage of the 2016 Los Angeles Days of the Dead convention and in this installment the guys have fallen prey to some top secret clown business, as Josh and Doug talk with horror icon Sid Haig.

Sid is a legend of the silver screen, with a list of over 100 roles to his name and an impact that can be felt in many genres of the film industry. In recent years, Sid has become a mainstay in the convention world and a familiar face to the Days of the Dead loyal.

During Nowhere California’s adventures at Days of the Dead, the guys from Nowhere have made it a point to bump into this legend and we have been lucky enough to sit down twice with the man behind the clown make up..

CLICK HERE  For Nowhere California Presents Our Conversation With Sid Haig From The 2013 Days Of The Dead Convention (11:26)

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(Doug Porter, Joshua Gilmore, Sid Haig. April 2016 Los Angeles Days of the Dead)

CLICK HERE For Nowhere California Presents Another Conversation With Sid Haig From The 2016 Days of the Dead Convention (6:18)

As with all of our conversations, everybody on the Nowhere California team would like to extend our thanks to Sid Haig. It was an absolute pleasure talking with this icon.

For Everything Sid Haig CLICK HERE For The Official Sid Haig Website

You Know What They Call Nowhere California In Paris?

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(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

Since the inception of Nowhere California, the foundation of this project has been the world of movies and the creative mind behind those creations. The list of our personal favorites can run a mile long and the list of our favorite directors would reach the same length with the name of Quentin Tarantino holding a place near the top of the directors list.

Now, with Tarantino being near the top of our favorite director’s list, you can easily guess that most of his work holds a special place in our movie memories and Pulp Fiction is one of those iconic moments in movie history.

Pulp Fiction was released in 1994 and brought Tarantino into the world of the mainstream. This movie was a perfect storm of talent and the guys from Nowhere had the opportunity to talk with some members of this iconic cast at the 2016 Los Angeles Days of the Dead convention.

In this installment, the guys from Nowhere had the honor of talking to Duane Whitaker and Whitaker played Zed cohort in the infamous Pawn Shop scene. After that conversation, we have the pleasure to talk with the woman behind the sultry cab driver Esmarelda Villalobos and talk with Angela Jones. Finally, to close out this episode, we talk with the man behind the gimp and talk with Stephen Hibbert.

CLICK HERE FOR Nowhere California Presents Our Conversations With Duane Whitaker, Angela Jones, and Stephen Hibbert (21:12)
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NowhereCalifornia.com Reaches Its First Year..

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(Joshua Gilmore- Staff Writer)

It started one year ago today, this site was launched and took the concept of Nowhere California to a whole new level.

Nowhere California started in 2011 and it was just another conversation between two friends, but these conversation started taking place in front of a microphone and unleashed on the internet. It was as simple as that, but as Nowhere California evolved, the team grew and new accomplishments were reach.

The episodes started to grow and the team ventured out of the Nowhere city limits, as they dove into the world of conventions and conducting interviews. It was with each accomplishment, the Nowhere California family stuck to their ideals of what they wanted to produce and not to become just another podcast.

It was that mindset that grew into this website and, as we mark our first year on the net, we want to simply say THANK YOU.

Thank you for following the journey of Nowhere California.

Thank you for listening to the original podcast and all of the other podcast that have sprung from this little idea.

Thank you for checking out this site

And thank you for continuing this adventure with us.

One Bad Day. One Great Movie..Coming Soon.

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(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

One bad day. It just takes one bad day to turn the sanest mortal into the darkest of souls and just one bad day is the lynch pin behind one of most infamous DC graphic novels, “The Killing Joke”. This graphic novel is held in high regards in most comic book circles and will be making its animated film debut in a few short weeks.

“The Killing Joke” will be released digitally on July 23,2016 and Blu-Ray/Dvd on August 2. This film will break new ground for the popular DC animated movie series, as “The Killing Joke” will be rated R. That rating is a relief to many, as any lower rating would be a disservice to the legacy of this story.

As you can tell quickly from the trailer, the legacy of this story is well protect in many ways and two of those reasons come in the form of the voice talents. The men that are synonymous with this classic rivalry, Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill will headline this film.

A reminder, if you’re a fan of the original graphic novel or you’re a fan of the DC animated universe, this is an entry that should not be miss digitally on July 23 and on August 2 in the Blu-Ray/Dvd formats. Also, in the Blu-Ray/Dvd format, watch for a special deluxe edition and the limited edition Joker figure that will be included.
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Thank you for being a friend…of Deadpool!

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(Nicholas Dye/Staff Writer)

On this glorious eve of the greatest smart-ass superhero….wait…anti-hero…wait…X character…OH FUCK IT! Before Deadpool feels us all up in a darkend theater tomorrow, we get our most honest review from none other than the foulest (and hottest if you know me!) mouth in Hollywood…Betty fucking White!!! So without further ado, I will shut the hell up and let her share her thoughts on Deadpool as well as Ryan Reynolds’ smoking’ hot ass!

Second City Helping Comedy’s Future And Honoring A Legend..

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(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

The comedic legacy of Harold Ramis continues to live on and Chicago’s Second City will make sure of that, as they have announced the formation of The Harold Ramis Film School. Since Harold has created some of the greatest moments in comedic cinema, there is no one more fitting of this honor and some of the greatest comedic minds of today will have their hand in this school’s inner workings.

One of the important aspects of this establishment will be the new school’s advisory board. This board will consist of Steve Carell, Eugene Levy, Keegan-Michael Key, and Martin Short , as a few of its members.

“Harold is the perfect person to have a school named after him,” Martin Short said in a recent interview. “He taught us all how to act and how to live. He was the ultimate teacher.”

The Harold Ramis Film School will be a certificate program, instead of the traditional degree program and the students will develop a portfolio that will allow them to begin their first steps into the filmmaking world of comedy.

“Harold Ramis was the quintessential Second City writer/performer – intelligent, funny and devoted to the spirit of ensemble,” says Andrew Alexander, CEO and executive producer of The Second City. “His early mentoring of the Second City TV cast set the template for how that show would operate for eight seasons. His unselfish and generous spirit dominated the many wonderful films that he directed and wrote. I am thrilled by this opportunity to instill Harold’s philosophy of successful storytelling in film in the next generation of artists.”

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For More Information On The Harold Ramis Film School
CLICK HERE

The Desecration of the Man of Steel in Hollywood Part 1

(Nicholas Dye/Staff Writer)

I will begin this piece by admitting that I am an ardent and die-hard Superman fan. I am not a fan of what he can do but what he is and what he stands for. I believe that his greatest power radiates not from our yellow sun but from the love and morals that two mere mortals bestowed on him. Superman is super not because of the ability to protect and to do the amazing things he does. Superman is super because of the way he inspires, the way he makes us believe that ANYONE can be super if they make the choice to do so. In this amazing technological world that we live in, why can no one in Hollywood seem to get his character right and why do they almost feel threatened by a hero of his caliber?

From my earliest memories and from pictures of me as a baby, I have been surrounded by Superman. Much like Martha Kent, my mother sewed an ‘S’ onto a red towel and attached it to my long john Superman Underoos and created my costume. I was eight years old an barely a year had passed since my father died. We struggled but we found light in the smallest of places. We lived on a friend’s property in a 65 foot mobile home that we had just upgraded from the 35 footer we were living in. I remember the day she pinned that towel to my shirt and I stepped off the back steps for the first time. The way the sun felt that morning, the way the smell of the desert meeting the mountains filled my nose. The sound of John Williams’ main theme from Superman echoed in the clearing of trees as I belted it out while I ran around with my arms outstretched. Superman was the light I needed to get past losing my hero. In that sense, I had been saved by the Man of Steel.

Fast forward to 2005. I sat with barely contained enthusiasm, in a film that I cannot recall, waiting for the teaser trailer for the upcoming Superman Returns. In that darkened theater, my skin came alive as I heard Marlon Brando’s Jor-El talking over John Willams’ “The Planet Krypton” theme. A young Clark leaps into the sky over the fields of Smallville, Kansas, a glimpse of The Daily Planet, people looking to the sky, Superman emerges from the clouds and basks in the sun, and Jor-El saying; “For this reason alone, their capacity for good, I have sent them you. My only son.” Superman opens his eyes and speeds back to earth. I am not ashamed to admit that tears filled my eyes as thunderous applause and cheers from the audience filled the blackness.

Fast forward again to June of 2006. The credits were rolling on Superman Returns and I sat in absolute disappointment at what Warner Bros. had allowed to happen to MY hero. I was outraged! So let me get this straight…Superman had become a stalker, a jealous ex-boyfriend, and a secret father!? That ridiculous costume with the leather cape and tiny ‘S’ and the fact that we were getting Lex Luthor…AGAIN was enough to drive me around the bend! Hell, the biggest hero in that entire film was James Marsden’s ‘Richard White’ who, even with seeing his love (Lois Lane) still smitten with Superman, rushed off in his plane to help him at her behest. EVERYTHING felt wrong! Superman forgot how to save a falling plane without tearing it apart and the scene where he rushes into the street and pulls his shirt open to reveal the iconic shield was completely muted by the bastardization of the original score by John Ottman. Smallville was able to get this right so I cannot fathom why the film could not. Brandon Routh was made to regurgitate lines which Christopher Reeve had used to bring humanity to Superman and, much like the movie, failed miserably at connecting with the audience.

To paraphrase Alex Ross and Mark Waid’s “Kingdom Come”, the Super has become more important than the man in Hollywood. In Superman ’78, we see the guiding hand of Jonathan and Martha Kent. When Clark shows off by beating Brad’s convertible home on foot, Jonathan ribs him for showing off and letting Brad get his goat. Clark asks if it’s showing off to use your natural talents to which Jonathan tells him that it is not but he knows that he was put here for more than scoring touchdowns. Now granted, we don’t get to see the Kents mold Kal-El into Superman by Jonathan teaching him ways to change his voice and demeanor and we don’t get Martha stitching his costume from the blankets he arrived in. What we do get, which Hollywood seems almost afraid to do, is two parents who love him and guide him morally on his journey to find his greater purpose.

If I am to be fair, Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel came the closest. Jonathan and Clark have a wonderful exchange after Clark is bullied. Martha and Clark have a beautiful moment when Clark’s senses are overwhelmed and she lovingly helps him to focus. Snyder crafts these things and, in the quest to keep more realism, he almost chastises Clark for saving the school bus after it plunged into the river. Jonathan sacrifices himself rather than let Clark do what he can do. While I would say this has some nobility to it, as we learn later in the film, it seems a good chunk of Smallville’s population know who Clark is anyways which would negate Jonathan’s fear completely. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention my favorite scene in the film which happens to be Clark’s finest moment. When faced with the decision to turn himself over to Zod, Clark goes to a higher power for answers. He tells the clergyman at the local church that he is the man that is being sought and he doesn’t know what to do. The clergyman tells him that sometimes it just takes faith.

Again, in Alex Ross’ Justice comic, there is an exchange of respect between Superman and Batman outside of the Fortress of Solitude. Superman acknowledges why Batman is so successful because Batman makes criminals afraid of the dark. Batman says that he know understands why Superman chose to do press appearances and interviews because he casts a light so bright that there are no shadows for the villains to hide in. Why then, do we have a Man of Steel that was shot so overtly darkened. Why does Superman need to be grittier? He is a beacon of light and a symbol of hope! It’s almost as if film executives are afraid to give us a moralistic Superman or one that might seem preachy. I swear I have seen that work on film somewhere before though and it seemed to work pretty damn well. What movie was that again…? Oh yeah!! EVERY movie that has featured Captain America!

Marvel has done so well with giving us a hero that holds his morals above all else. Hell, it was a running gag in Avenger 2: Age of Ultron between Stark and Cap when Stark uses some choice words and Cap says “Language!” Why is Warner so afraid of that guy!? He’s referred to in the comics as “The Big Blue Boy Scout”,  so why not let him be that!? In Superman ’78, in his first outing as Superman, saves Lois Lane from death and catches a falling helicopter with his free hand. Upon returning them to the top of The Daily Planet, he quickly says “Gentlemen. This man needs a doctor!” and then says to Lois, “I hope this hasn’t put you off flight miss. Statistically speaking, it’s still the safest way to travel.” In that sequence he delivers hope, takes control of a chaotic situation and is reassuring without being preachy or condescending.  This sequence is followed by him stopping a burglary and a heist, saving Air Force 1, and rescuing a cat from a tree! Where the hell was that stuff in these new films!?

I believe Henry Cavill is the best man to don the ‘S’ since Christopher Reeve and I hope that Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice will restore my faith but from what I have seen from trailers, that seems bleak. As this is titled “Part 1”, I will be tackling my issues with the need to pit Superman and Batman against each other, the choice to make his costume more Kryptonian, as well as get more into this fear of having a hero that is too moralistic for viewers. I will also, in the near future, be writing a piece on the mistreatment of Batman in Hollywood as well. I will save those both until after we get the theatrical release of Batman v. Superman. Thanks for letting this fanboy rant for a while and feel free to hit me with comments or questions at Nowhere_California@yahoo.com.

 

 

 

 

 

DEADPOOL: He Is The Superhero Movie That We Need And Want!

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(Joshua Gilmore-Staff Writer)

It has been a magical 12 days and as the yearly War on Christmas truce goes into effect, Deadpool has delivered a package that he want to show the world. Also, the Merc with the Mouth has a new trailer for the movie goers..

First, here is the clean “Green Band” trailer..

Now, it is time to take Deadpool’s advice and enjoy the majesty that is the “Red Band” trailer..

If that isn’t an uncanny and magnificent finale for the 12 days of Deadpool, then I don’t know what could be. This trailer shows the hardcore edge and spirit of the comics will not be lost in the translation to the big screen. This movie will be the swift kick to superhero genre’s balls and the aftermath will be felt for a long time.

I don’t know your plans for February 12, 2016, but my plans are set and I’ll be seeing this movie multiple times.

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